on fashion

Parisian fashion is an odd beast. On the one hand, when you're not in Paris but rather hearing about Parisian fashion, it is, oh, how do you put this -- Mecca. Paris is where fashion goes to reincarnate; Paris is the target of virtually all fashion-magazine slobbering. "Fashion Week," I am assured, is Quite The Event (I'm not even quite sure when this is, but I'm sure it's important). I admit myself to not being entirely immune. I have bought at least two new pairs of pants since getting here, plus boots, plus -- oh, this is embarrassing. So yes, I am part of the herd. But on the other hand, Parisian fashion gets boring. The sixteenth time I saw a wide jacket with big buttons and cropped sleeves worn over a turtleneck -- well. It had lost some of its snap, shall we say. Everyone is dressed very well (okay, most people are); but after a while, it becomes incredibly uninteresting, because they are all dressed very well in the exact same way. Allow me to construe my own Parisian clothing purchases as an attempt to blend in. As a foreigner, it does not do well to be out of camouflage. But Parisians, Parisians, what are you thinking? Don't you just get bored? Don't you ever wonder what would happen if you wore a lime-green trenchcoat? No? Lack of imagination, the lot of you. You would stand out in that sea of black overcoats, though, that's for sure.

But I must note this: leggings. Leggings are okay; I can't muster much enthusiasm for them, being well over both 5'4" and 100 lbs. I do, however, know that leggings come with a couple of rules. And these are rules unlike those that define "fashion" as a herd mentality; they are not rules about conformity, they're rules about not looking, well, skanky. And they are these: leggings are not pants. Leggings may be worn under a dress, a short skirt, a long shirt, a long sweater. I'll let you get away with those, as temporary self-appointed arbiter of fashion. Leggings may not be worn as if they are real pants; that is to say, with a shirt that doesn't go down past your hips. They don't look good with a short t-shirt. They especially don't look good when you tuck your shirt into them. So stop it, Paris, just stop it.

And please, please, don't let me get started on wearing tights as if they were leggings -- as if they were pants. No.